Rice Terraces, Muddy Slopes, and Hmong Tribes

Even though we still have 9 days left in our trip, it feels like the end is coming way too fast. This morning we hopped on a plane and headed to Hanoi for a nine day tour of Sa Pa, Ha Long Bay, and Hanoi. We had purchased the travel package months ago as a way to see these three areas and also semi relax by having everything pre-arranged and taken care of. 

We were greeted at the airport by a driver holding a sign baring Em’s name. The driver dropped us off in the Old Quarter of Hanoi, where we will be ditching our big bags for the next three days as we venture north to Sa Pa on a hiking, homestay, and photography adventure.

We arrived in Hanoi in the afternoon and had a few hours to explore the streets before our night train left to the north. The Old Quarter is slightly chaotic with many narrow streets roughly arranged by type of trade and goods for purchase. It’s also where you can haggle for same very cheap North Face, Nike, Under Armor, etc. clothing and bags. Many of the products that don’t meet “quality assurance” standards for the US find their way to these shops. Not everything is real, but it’s definitely fun to peruse and you can’t beat the prices. 

Em and I scored a pair North Face smushy  coats that fold small, Em got a hair cut, and I got my nails done. It was a pretty easy going day.

At 8:30pm, a driver showed up and escorted us to the train station, where we were given a ticket and sent on our way. We had a set of bunk beds in a small cramped compartment with two other guys. The compartment was so small that only one person could stand in the space between the two sets of bunks at a time and getting to the top bunk required upper body strength or a helping hand. 

As we pulled out of the station, we started driving through town on the infamous “train street”; a street where the tracks are lined on both side by homes, schools, shops, and cafes, but there is so little space between these dwellings and the tracks that the tables and chairs must be moved every time a train comes by. I must have been the only excited person to see this and other parts of the city move past our window as I was a lone person in the hallway while all the other bunk compartments remained closed up for the night. I guess no one else thought the rickety cars ambling through the city was something worthy of gawking at. Their loss.

Drippy Days and Muddy Paths

We arrived in the town of Lao Cai before sun up and we ushered into a mini van that didn’t leave the station until it was filled to bursting with passengers (about an hour later). As the sun started to peak over the hills and rain began to come down in earnest, our driver practiced his rally car skills and took us high into the mountains to Sa Pa.

Sa Pa is a district in the northwest region of Vietnam, near the Chinese and Lao borders. The area is known for its terraced rice fields in the Muong Hoa Valley and the various hill tribes that still cling to their ancestral roots. We were visiting for a three day, two night excursion to trek through this scenic paradise and explore the hill tribe villages.

After a quick stop at the hotel for some non-Em and Robby friendly breakfast, a chance to buy another plastic bag raincoat, and rent some boots in the hope of not slipping and sliding down the rain soaked mud paths (this turned out to be a failure even with the precautions), we set out with a group of Korean tourists and multiple local Black Hmong villagers on a 9 mile trek through the countryside. 

The trek was beautiful, but wet, muddy, and most of the views were obscured by heavy fog and light drizzle. We’d get lucky in places, as the rain would reduce to a trickle and the fog would part and reveal lush green stair step rice terraces with enriched colors due to the wet weather. 

The locals run up and down the muddy trails with ease and attempt to hold your hand and guide you down the slippery slopes. The problem is they’re part billy goat and even when they hold your hand, they’re racing down the mountain and it’s hard to find a suitable place to put your feet at such a fast clip. The end result is you slip and can’t really catch yourself (because they have your hand or hands), so you end up with a semi mud facial or looking like a poor man’s Golem.

Most of the Hmong villagers that trek with you do it to learn English, through talking with the trekkers. We were a little disappointed because most of the villagers helping us only knew enough English to ask “What is your name?” “Where are you from?” “How old are you?” Once asked and answers received, they’d walk away. There were only two that knew enough English or were willing to chat long enough to gleam some information about the Hmong culture in the local villages.

The trekking party stopped for lunch at a local restaurant in the center of Ta Van, one the Hmong villages, where we were swarmed by multiple locals demanding that we purchase handmade good from them as they’d helped us down the mountain. We didn’t really mind purchasing one item, but it was a very claustrophobic and uncomfortable experience as 20 people surrounded you and stuck things in your face and yelled at you that you must buy from them and you owed them since they had helped you down the hill. Even after we each bought one item, they were demanding and didn’t wanted to leave us alone until we all (there were two Koreans eating at our table as well) started yelling at them to leave us alone. 

I am all for helping local indigenous tribes and supporting people that help me, but it seems that a terrible culture has been built here with tourism where the locals are led to believe that if they help you descend the mountain then you owe them. It’s not done in a friendly way and it actually started to feel quite menacing after a bit. We meet some other girls later in the day that had a totally different experience with only one guide and one local villager helping them on their trek and therefore only one person that was asking for them to purchase goods and them being only half pushy. It seemed like this was more the norm and we just got stuck on the bad tour.

After lunch, the majority of the trekkers in our group took a shuttle back to Sa Pa, and only Em, Eduardo (a fellow trekker hailing from Mexican), and I continued only to a homestay experience in the village of Lao Chai.

We walked through more small villages looking at all these cute homes that said homestay, but didn’t stop at any. After a while we started hearing this terrible music being blasted through the valley and Em remarked, “I bet that’s where we’re going,” and damn if she wasn’t prophetic. Our homestay was a small restaurant/hostel, where the ground floor is a restaurant/communal gathering floor and the top, lofted floor, is a large dorm with mattresses on the floor and “rooms” separated via curtains. There was zero heat (it was pretty chilly) and the locals didn’t seem too keen on actually interacting with us. 

All three of us were a little tired and decided to lay down for a short nap/quiet time. Our retreat was rudely interrupted by the blaring music changing to blaring off key Karaoke. There three of us looked at each other, grabbed our shoes, and decided maybe it was best to go back into the rain to explore the town. Amazingly, as soon as we left the premises of the homestay, the music and the Karaoke stopped. I guess the family just didn’t want us there during the day.

We ended up meeting two French girls on the road and invited them to try egg coffee in one of the local cafes while we waited to be allowed to return to the homestay at 6pm for dinner. Upon arriving back, we found lots of other people and family members wandering around bringing out various local dishes. It was a much different atmosphere than earlier in the day, but no warmer - either in temperature, nor in warmth of reception. By 8:30 the home owners were shutting lights and everyone retreated upstairs. Then an angry French man told us we couldn’t talk anymore by 9 pm because they were all trying to sleep. 

So overall, the trekking experience, at least for day one, was not wonderful. Meeting Eduardo and hanging out with the two French girl lamenting about the experience was the best part. The scenery as well, when we could see through the clouds was spectacular. I think if I ever come back to this region, I will come without a tour and maybe just hire a single local guide in Sa Pa.

Tomorrow and the day after we trek with members from different tribes. Lets see how those experiences go.

You Have a Choice of the Easy Way or the Hard Way, We Go the Easy Way

After an okay nights rest, we woke to a foggy, but dry day with warmer temperatures. We were meet by a new guide that told us there were two routes that we could take to the waterfall; the easy route (i.e. the road) or the hard route (i.e. trekking up and down muddy slopes like the previous day). Eduardo and we picked the hard way, to which the guide replied: “there are eleven people in our group and a small girl, we go the easy way.” We asked why she even bothered giving us a chose or telling us there was an alternative route. I don’t think she truly understood what we were saying, but she could tell the three of us weren’t super happy. 

Five minutes later she tells us to come quick and follow her, she raced us through the village and deposited us with a different guide and a British couple, and off we headed into the forrest; trailed by multiple local villagers, many of which were young girls that fairly skipped up and down the slippery paths, laughing at our ineptitude to do the same. 

Even though we had tried to express that we didn’t need assistance and didn’t want to purchase goods from these villagers, no one understood us. Our hands were grabbed in attempts to help us up and down the muddy paths (somewhat successfully) and when we reached the waterfall we were hounded again to “buy goods since I help you on hill”. At least this time it was only two women and we were able to extract ourselves after only purchasing a small woven bracelet.

We returned to Sa Pa and had the afternoon and evening to wander the hilly town. It’s cute and reminds us of the type of towns back stateside that are often surrounded by snow resorts. The only gondola here though goes to the top of the highest peak in the area, Flasipan. The gondola and attractions on the top of the mountain are owned by Sun World and have the same Disneyland-esque quality to them as of their other property, Ba Na Hills. Em wasn’t too keen on the long tram ride over the valley and it there was a pretty dense fog that high up the whole time we were in Sa Pa, so we didn’t purchase a ticket to visit.

Since there is no heat in most of Sa Pa and we didn’t want to just freeze in our room for the evening, we went wandering about town. The city is a lot bigger than the hills we’d been up and down earlier. There is actually a small lake that is lit up at night and easy to transverse, as well as a plethora of coffee shops, restaurants, and “Made in Vietnam” shops (where you can purchase North Face, Under Armor, Nike, etc. items like in Hanoi). We got a foot massage, walked the lake, and then returned to the hotel to burrow under the blankets for the night.

Cat Cat Village - Where the Vietnamese Come to Take Selfies

Our last day in Sa Pa included a tour of Cat Cat Village. This is the most touristy of all the Hmong and hill tribe villages. You pay an entrance fee and then wander down narrow stairwells, lined on both sides by souvenir shops and restaurants, until you reach the base of the Muong Hoa Valley. The Hmong tribes that live?\work here are of the Flower tribe and therefore their traditional dress is different than that of our guides for the last two days. They were part of the Mountain and Grass Mountain tribes. 

At the base of the Valley is CatsCat Waterfall. The waterfall was named by the French, who claimed the area as a resort for French Officials in the early 20th century and the locals took that name and turned it into Cat Cat as their village name. The village has numerous bamboo bridges and giant water wheels, as well as other traditional Hmong buildings. The water wheels were how they used to get water up the hills to the rice terraces. Nowadays they use a water station and irrigation. 

While the whole town is super cute, we didn’t seem to find the authentic part. Everywhere we looked were tourists snapping selfies or youths from Hanoi dressed in Hmong traditional garb taking Insta-worthy photos. It’s was a little surreal. Our guide told us that it was a very popular thing for Vietnamese youths from the city to come here, put on a costume and spend hours taking photos everywhere. It seemed super bizarre to me.

I read online that you were supposed to be able to see locals weaving or help work in a field; visit a traditional home, or possibly learn how to dance, but Em and I didn’t see any of that and our guide never directed us towards anything like that. Everything was either a shop, restaurant, or scenic thing to walk around. Overall, it was lovely, but nothing like we had pictured.

Tonight we take the train back to Hanoi and then head to Ha Long Bay. I’m interested to see what adventures meet us there.

From Mountain Tops, to the Mouth of the Dragon, Back to Mountain Tops

While I’d grown to enjoy Hoi An and the people I’d met at our hostel, it was time to head to our next destination, Hue. Wanting to capitalize as much as possible on the sites in between the two cities, we booked a mini bus tour/transfer. The bus takes you by a few of the more scenic/touristy locations on your way from one city to the other (we could have also booked a private car or ridden on the back of a motorcycle or even driven our own scooters...if I come back in the future, I will probably try one of these options).

Our first stop for the day and the one we were most excited about was Marble Mountains. This is a cluster of five marble and limestone hills located in the Ngũ Hành Sơn District, south of Da Nang city in Vietnam. The five mountains are named after the five elements: Kim (metal), Thuy (water), Moc (wood), Hoa (fire) and Tho (earth). All of the mountains have cave entrances and numerous tunnels, and it is possible to climb to the summit of Mt. Thuy. Several Buddhist sanctuaries can also be found within mountains. Unfortunately only Water Mountain is accessible to tourists and we only had a little over an hour to explore.

As soon as the bus pulled in, we hoped out, paid to take the elevator to the top of the mountain (thus skipping the first few hundred steps), and began a mad dash to see everything before the bus left us. Even after taking the elevator, there were tons of steps to climb, but the sites were well worth it. We saw a few different temples, and couple of caves that had Buddhists temples inside them and large Buddha statues. A one point we followed a cave to the back and then had to climb our way out, but out ended up being the peak of the mountain and we were rewarded with stunning views over Da Nang city. It was a beautiful site and we could definitely have used a little more time to explore it.

Back on the bus, we headed for Hai Van Pass. This is an approximately 17 miles drive through lush green trees with spectacular views. In the past the pass served as the boundary between the Dai Viet and Champa kingdoms and acts as a natural boundary between the climates of the north and south in Vietnam (although they’re having an exceptionally warm winter and it was hotter and more humid in Hue than anywhere in the south while we were there).

At the top of the pass, we were given 30 minutes to explore some old war ruins and take pictures of the Da Nang and Hue regions spread out down below us.

Next we descended the back side of the Pass and came to our tour guide’s home town of Lang Co. This city is know for its white sandy beaches and for its oysters (both as food and as creators of pearls). Our tour let us out at an abandoned resort where we could see the beautiful water from behind a barb wire fence, but not actually get to it. That was a little disappointing, but the abandoned resort was kind of fun to wander around for the 20 minutes they gave us. 

The last stop on the trip was to visit the Thanh Toan Tile-roofed Bridge. The bridge was built in 1776 by Mrs. Tran Thi Dao as a way to facilitate movement for the local people around the area. It is unique because of its tiled roof, which was a rarity during that time. The bridge was beautiful and I wish we would have had more time to explore the commune of Thanh Toan because it has resisted urbanization and still retains the traditional Vietnamese local village atmosphere and charm. Unfortunately, we were running behind schedule and so an hour pit stop became 10 minutes.

Twenty minutes later, we were dropped at our new residence, The Dreamers Homestay; where we’ll stay for the next three nights. After dropping our bags, we decided to go wandering about a bit and get a feel for the town, along the way, we encountered a tout selling boat trips along the Perfume River (so named because of the smell emanating from it due to all the flowers that fall into the water during the autumn). We thought we had purchased just a quick trip across the river from one side to the other, but in fact we’d really purchased a one hour leisurely cruise along it. It was dusk and so the setting sun made it all the better. We also got to bring the captain’s adorable puppy on board and attempt to hold and pet it the whole trip (most of the time it was content to be with its owner and wouldn’t socialize with the passengers).

The cruise left us at the Da Bong Market, which we were told was a night market, but as we wandered around and saw everyone closing up shop for the day, we realized was in fact a day market. Not finding any street food to our liking nor shops to explore, we headed back to the hostel to see what their Christmas gathering was like. Turns out the girls running the place had made dinner for everyone and we had a good time chatting we a couple of Germans and a few med students from

Breaking in to See the Dragon

When Em decided she wanted to go visit Hue, I stumbled upon an off the beaten path destination there to see; the Thuy Tien Lake Abandoned Water Park. The park was built in 2004 as the region’s go to tourist attraction, but shuttered its doors in 2006, without ever being completed. In 2013 another company bought the park and tried to turn it into an eco tourism destination, but that venture too failed. No one really knows why both of these endeavors failed, but it’s believed that the local superstitions and beliefs of it being haunted didn’t help its revenue stream any. 

Nowadays the park is surrounded by “no trespassing” signs and the buildings and attractions are all left in their various states to be claimed by nature steadily over time. There are guards at the main gate and some that roam around on motorcycle and tell you that you can’t go in. Sometimes you can bribe them for entrance and sometimes you can just give them doe eyes and beg for admittance. Sometimes, none of this works and you’ll be turned away.

When we headed there, we got turned away by the guard at the front gate (he wouldn’t even take the customary bribe to let us in). So we had our driver drop us around the corner and began hiking in through the small trail off to the left side. We got a little lost as there were a few different trails, but we happened upon a local at a cemetery we stumbles upon in the woods, who was kind enough to walk us in (and even help convince the security guard that caught us to let us have a few minutes to take photos). 

The security guard fell for the doe eyes and gave us 10 minutes to photo the Dragon, but once inside the park, it was pretty easy to ditch the guard and wander for over an hour. The park is pretty large and spread out so most “trespassers” tend to only see the three main attractions: the dragon, the water slides, and the amphitheater. Not wanting to be caught a third time in the park, we stuck to these main sites as well and didn’t venture too much afield. 

The park has an eerie post apocalyptic feel to it as if everyone just up and walked away one day. Graffiti covers the walls and the foliage has started to overtake many of the structures, but things are still sturdy enough to climb and great for photography. The pools at the base of the three water slides are still filled with water (murky and bacteria infested at this point) and the tanks under the giant dragon were abandoned with live crocodiles still in them (they’re no longer there as PETA rescued them years ago). 

It was fun wandering around and seeing all the attractions here and trying to imaging what the park would have been like if it had ever opened its doors. If we weren’t so terrified of being caught by the security guard a third time and exported off the property, we probably would have explored further and found the old cabins where tourists were supposed to have stayed and the remains of a flight simulator with remnants of the electronic console station adjacent.

Flush with excitement from our elicit adventure, we met back up with our driver for the day and headed to the more allowed sites: three of the imperial tombs and the Citadel. There are seven Royal tombs in the vicinity around Hue city, but most tour companies and drivers will tell you that only three are accessible to the public. The reality is you can visit all seven, but only three are set up for tourism with entrance fees, guides, and renovations. We stuck to the standard three. 

We started with a visit to the tomb of Khai Dinh, then Minh Mang, and finally Tu Duc. The tombs are all different in style, layout, and feel, but no less impressive. You only get a little disappointed when you realize that they were all built within the last 150 years and therefore are pretty new even though they appear as if they’re centuries upon centuries old. 

The building of the Tu Duc’s tomb also didn’t endear him to any of his subjects as he imposed heavy taxation and didn’t pay his workers in order to construct it. This actually caused an attempted coup, which was ultimately discovered and stopped. When the Emperor did die, he was buried somewhere secret and had all 200 servants that buried him beheaded so that the location would remain secret. 

After exploring the tombs, we had our driver leave us at the Citadel to spend the remainder of the day exploring. The Citadel is a walled fortress approximately 1.6 miles by 1.6 miles and surrounded by a moat with water syphoned off from the Perfume River. Within the walls of the Citadel lie the Imperial City and the Purple Forbidden City (the inner sanctum that was reserved exclusively for the royal family). The gigantic complex was the capital city of the Nguyen Dynasty from 1805 until 1945.

Inside the Citadel walls was once lavish and opulent, with ornate gardens and intricate pagodas. But the Vietnam War was not kind to the Imperial City. The strategic position of Hue made the city an optimal position to hold and therefore intense house-to-house fighting within the city and escalating shelling and bombing from without left many of the buildings in ruin. The Vietnamese government has been working hard to restore the areas that can be salvaged and to build new buildings where the too badly damaged ones once stood. 

Even with the damage, there is still enough within the city to spend hours admiring.

A Little Adventure, A Lot of Trees, A Waterfalls, and Beautiful Views

Because we had seen most of the main tourist sights in Hue the day before and because I wanted a little change of pace, I convinced Em to head for the hills on an all day adventure in Bach Ma National Park. The park is about 16 miles outside of Hue city and absolutely stunning. The lush green trees everywhere and the spectacular views were what I was expecting back in Siem Reap when we ventured to Kulen Mountain. What we didn’t get there, we got in spades here. 

At the peak of Bach Ma mountain there used to be a French commune in the early 20th century with over 200 estates and recreational facilities. The elite would come to the mountain to relax and enjoy themselves for weeks or months at a time and escape the heat of the lowlands. During WWII, the Japanese kicked everyone out and the town slid into disrepair. Then during the Vietnam War the American claimed the top as a helipad and base, while the Viet Cong burrowed into the mountain below and created tunnels that were used for weapons caches and to hide the injured. Today, the Mountain is a National Park and a wonderful way to spend a day. It’s also home to three species of mammals that are only in this part of the world and were only discovered in the 1990s: the antelope-like saola, the Truong Son muntjac and the giant muntjac.

Our tour drove us above the clouds and close to the top of the mountain and then we hiked a short distance to the peak. Along the way, we got to wander through one of the old Viet Cong tunnels and see some sleeping bats (they’re so cute). The weather was cooperating and we had sunny skies and clear visibility. Our guide told us that we were incredibly lucky as that’s a rarity (especially at this time of the year) and sometimes the fog is so thick you can’t even see the stairs 10 feet in front of you.

After some picture taking and a short hot chocolate break, we headed back down the mountain part way to begin the “adventure” portion of the hike. Someone in the past had found a path along the limestone rocks that takes you past five small pools at the base of tiny waterfalls (a foot or two tall) and tacked up high density cables to allow visitors to climb down the cliff face along this make-shift trail. The path is semi dangerous, but manageable for most people (there were families and small children transversing it along with our group). 

At the base of the larger of the pools (called “lakes” by the guides), we had a picnic lunch and some people braved the frigid waters for a dip under the small waterfall (about 20 feet tall). We continued on our trek and arrived after some adventurous river crossings that left most people with wet feet and me with some pretty bruises (I tried to do a hand and foot climb across a rope strung over the river and wasn’t in any way graceful in maneuvering) at the top of the Rhododendron Waterfall.

The Rhododendron Waterfall is about 1000 feet high and gets its name from the red Rhododendron simsii that blossom along the small streams in the park and in particular at the bottom of the falls. From the top we couldn’t get close enough to the edge to see the bottom, but we were greeted with amazing views of sky and forrest.

All in all, the trip to the park was exciting, relaxing, and a nice bit of tranquility between tombs and pagodas and the hustle and bustle of the cities. 

Hoi An: City of Lanterns and Custom Clothes and Leather Items

Thanks to our motorbike drivers enacting a scene from a movie where you chase down a car, or bus in our case, we made it to the airport to catch our flight to Da Nang with plenty of time to spare. Upon landing, we hopped in the taxi and journeyed 45 minutes to Old Town Hoi An. 

Hoi An is a small city on the eastern coast of Vietnam that is best known for its Old City. The city was a major port city and trade center for many centuries, particularly from the 15th to 19th, and is still incredibly well-preserved. The former port city’s melting-pot history is reflected in its architecture, a mix of eras and styles from wooden Chinese shophouses and temples to colorful French colonial buildings, ornate Vietnamese tube houses and the iconic Japanese Covered Bridge with its pagoda.

Now-in-days, the city is a huge tourist attraction. People come to see the architecture, visit the night market, take endless Insta-worthy selfies amount the colorful lanterns that are everywhere and on the river, and shop. The city is known for their excellent custom made clothing and leather products. There are literally shops everywhere in the Old Town where they will fit you for a suit and custom make it in 24 hrs for a fraction of the cost of what you’d pay back in the States; we meet multiple people that flew to Hoi An specifically to have clothing and/or shoes made.

While munching on a chicken Banh Mi as a local shop near our hostel, we saw a flyer for a Cat Cafe fundraiser that was happening the same night. There were kitties involved and so we decided to check it out. Apparently, we didn’t read the flyer properly, because after walking the mile and a half to the rescue cafe and finding it locked tight and dark, we saw that it was actually being hosted at a bar in Old Town; what would have been a 10 minute walk away from our hostel.

Not being discouraged, we flagged a taxi and headed back to Old Town. The fundraiser for the Cat Cafe was having a raffle and we thought, “What the hell, let’s each buy one ticket and see what happens.” Well, turns out that I won the grand prize; a 5,000,000 VND (about $250) gift certificate for an amazing tattoo shop in town. 

Thinking it was faith since there’s a tattoo I’ve wanted forever, we gleefully headed to the shop to see if they’d have time to fit me in while we’re in town. The shop, 1984 Tattoo, has some amazing artists and they were willing to work with me, but after enlarging my design, printing it, and trying to see where it might look best on my body, I realized I didn’t love it nearly as much as I had on the computer screen. 

We thanked the shop, went back to our hostel, and I spent hours trying to find/create something else that I would love. In the end, I decided that rushing to create something this permanent is not a good idea. I’m going to try to sell or give away the gift card (since it’s only good at this shop and only until the end of the year) so someone else can get their dream tattoo. I’m super bummed, but don’t want to get something and regret it later.

Colorful Streets, Pushy Touts, and Custom Boots

Em and I decided to take the day and explore the Old City. We thought we’d wander for a bit and then rent bikes and head to the beach. We woke up to drizzling rain and reassessed a bit. Luckily, there are people everywhere here selling everything, and it wasn’t long before we ran into a little old lady with a basket of colorful plastic bag raincoats; which were perfectly adequate for the bit of rain the day started off with.

After a day of wandering Hoi An, I am equal parts in love with it and equal parts dismayed with it. The Old City itself is amazing. On the one hand: the architecture is phenomenal; with so many different cultures and styles mixed together. The colors are spectacular. I love the colorful lanterns hanging across all the alleyways and the small boats at night that float down the river and allow passengers to drop lit paper lanterns in the river. The street food is tasty and there are tons of Robby and Em friendly things to nibble on.

On the other hand: this is a tourist trap of a city. Every shop, every vendor, every person on the street, is trying to entice you into their store to buy something and they’re very very pushy about it. We had ladies jump off bikes in front of us and ask us to come to their store, people randomly walk by and say “What are you looking for? Shoes? Pretty dress? Leather bag? Come to my shop.” You can’t walk anywhere without being propositioned or even just peruse a store without someone trying to sell you 50 things. 

If you can ignore the sirens call to spend all your money (abet on beautiful hand crafted items), then the fact that there are just hordes of tourists everywhere is also a point against the city (although I did figure out that the crowds dwindle to manageable levels during the week). It is so crowded and everyone just jostles and pushes their way pass you that it feels super claustrophobic. Lastly, while most people here are super nice, there is “no free lunch” and everyone is trying to get one over on you.

Through all of this chaos, Em and I waded. We visited a few of the older homes at the cost of pretty silver rings (“come see our ancient home...free entrance””...look at the beautiful silver that I make...look at this ring, it looks so beautiful on your hand” and dammit if it didn’t). We saw the famous Japanese Cover Bridge (dating from the 16th century). Watched a great traditional folk dance/music/singing performance (I enjoyed this immensely), and finally allowed the frenzied energy emanating from the custom make shops to entice us in to take a look. The sellers are good and I walked out with my wallet a little lighter, but fitted for a pair of knee high custom leather boots that will “fit my massive calves like a glove”. In 24-48 hours I’ll know if it was the right call.

Escaping the craziness of the streets we returned to our hostel for a communal dinner. Three times a week the hostel cooks a massive amount of local dishes and invites all the guests to participate. If you come early enough you can actually help prepare the food. The dishes are varied and mostly vegetarian and delicious. It was also a great way to meet fellow hostelers and over all a great activity.

We hit it off with two South Africans, Tarina and Tiffany, who are teaching English in a smaller town in northern Vietnam; and Ayla. The five of us ended the evening with some exploration of the night market and a beer at the sky bar, drunk while playing multiple rounds of Jenga. Overall, it was a pretty great day.

Ba Na Hills, Where There is a Golden Path and Large Hands to Hold It

While the town of Hoi An is something you come to experience, especially if you need a new wardrobe, it’s not the main reason we came to this area. We actually came to see Ba Na Hills and the famous hands. What we originally had thought was some crazy artist’s dream bridge, turned out to be part of a crazy Disneyland-esque resort park that is famous in this area (and according to the tour leader, around the world). So we booked a day tour and set out on an adventure.

Ba Na Hills is a resort in the Truong Son Mountains, about an hour’s drive west of Hoi An. It was built originally in 1919 as a leisure destination for French tourists, back when Vietnam was a French Colony. The park is located 1500 meters above sea level; high in the lush mountains, and as of 2013 you get to ride the world’s longest non-stop single track cable car (19,032 ft) to get to it. It’s about a 10 minute ride and we were fortunate enough to have great views both going up to the park, and returning later in the day. 

Currently, the park is owned by Sun World and is kind of like a theme park, but with less rides and more just random settings to see. For example, there’s a French Village, a series of gardens, a Japanese Tea House, several Chinese pagodas, a few Buddhas, and the Golden Bridge. The Golden Bridge was what had attracted us to want to visit the park in the first place, as pictures of the giant hands that appear to hold it looked so interesting. It turns out that that is  only the latest attraction to be built in the park (it was built in 2018).

Em and I loved all the perfect spots within the park to experiment with photography and ditched our group pretty early on to go seeking less crowded areas. While the whole park is super kitschy, and it’s pretty pricey (about $45 for the bus ride and entrance fee, but you can definitely save a bit and have more time if you hire a private car to take you there with a few other people), I very much enjoyed it and think its worth the visit (just maybe don’t go on a weekend).

Upon arrival back in town, I headed to the shoe shop to see what 24 hrs could accomplish. While it’s amazing the turn around and construction, my shoes didn’t quite fit and I wasn’t as enamored with them as I felt the cost dictated. The shop assistants, told me “it’s only the first fitting. We fix. Come back tomorrow.” So I will see tomorrow what they have in store for me. 

Asking around, we found out that the store we went to (one of hundreds) is middle of the road and that there are other, far better shops. I couldn’t do anything to change the one pair of boots that I’d already commissioned, but there was a girl at the hostel with some turquoise combat boots that where calling our names and we decided to see how the top shop in Hoi An, Friendly Shoes, stacked up. Em and I each ordered a pair of boots designed to looked like the ones the girl at the hostel had (but in purple for Em and a blue/black marbled color for me). We’ll see tomorrow how they are.

Early Mornings Are How You Catch the Best Light

In addition to the giant hands of Ba Na Hills, Em and I wanted to visit a much older site, My Son temple complex. This complex at one time contained over 70 Hindu temples all dedicated to Shiva. It is regarded as the longest inhabited archaeological site in Indochina, with habitation from the 4th to 14th centuries. The temples were built by the Chumpa dynasties and bare large similarities in structure and design to the temples in Angkor, Cambodia. 

Sadly, much of the site was destroyed during the Vietnam War. The area was part of the People’s Army of Vietnam and a base for the Viet Cong. As a result, in August 1969, the entire area was blanketed in bombs by American forces. Even though tourists visit now daily and there are excavation and preservation projects everywhere, the site is considered dangerous as there are numerous unexploded land mines throughout.

Em and I booked the sunrise tour to visit thinking we’d get there in time to photograph the sun peaking over the temple structures, but it turned out that “sunrise tour” meant you get picked up at dawn and get to watch the sun rise as you drive to the site. While the tour arrives at the park a little late for the magical photography “Golden Hour”, you do arrive before all the other tourists and essentially have the place to yourself (and whatever other early raisers came with you). The downside though is the boat doesn’t run, so you have to take the bus both directions.

When we got back to town, we had a little downtime before heading out on our last adventure for the city, an Eco Tour and Cooking class. Turns out we were the only ones booked for the evening and therefore got a private tour and class. We were a little disappointed in this because half the fun of the cooking classes is getting to meet other people. Daisy, our local guide, though was fun and engaging and made the afternoon very pleasant. The Eco Tour portion of the tour was comprised of getting to ride in a small round coconut boat through the water coconut palms on the Thu Bon River. The coconut boats are small round boats that resemble the inside of half a coconut and were created by local fisherman as a way to avoid paying the taxes required on the larger canoe like boats.

Our guide was a local grandmother who joyfully paddled us along the river, spun our little boat in circles laughingly yelling “Wheeeee! Wheeee!” until I had to beg her to stop from motion sickness, and into the coconut tree forrest. There she gave us tiny bamboo rods with bait attached to them and had us fishing in the tree stalks for these itty bitty crabs. We caught about five and were fascinated watching them scurry around their water jug prison attempting to determine dominance. I loved their bright purple pinchers. After about 30 minutes, we let the crabs scuttle back into the water and headed to land for cooking lessons.

The cooking class portion was held as a family restaurant and most of the items for the four dishes we were preparing were already prepped and ready to go. Daisy instructed us in how to mix the sauces and had us fry up our own fried spring rolls and crispy pancakes. We also started a fish dish. 

It was really interesting to see how using almost the same ingredients (just one or two differences for each sauce) made completely different flavors and textures. I thought what we made was a ton of food, but then the restaurant came out with four additional dishes and we got to truly try all the local delicacies.

The whole tour was different than we were expecting, but still enjoyable and the food was delicious. We were dropped back in town in time to gather our custom shoes from the two different shops. The taller boots still weren’t perfect, but the were paid for, fit my calves, and we were out of time for further adjustments. The combat style boots and the shoes we had custom made for our brother (he’s the more fashion conscience one in the family and once he’d heard about custom shoes he wanted a few pairs), were beautiful and fit well. The experience of getting custom shoes was fun, but I’m not sure that either pair I bought fit better than a generic sized shoe back home. Time will tell.

One Full Day and a Morning in Saigon

Due to the fact that seeing the floating markets turned into a two day excursion, we were left with only one full day and a morning to see the city and sites therein of Saigon. To get the most out of our day, we woke early and went to visit the War Remnants Museum (Sven met us there). This museum is heavily propagandized against America and shows many of the atrocities committed by the US during the Vietnam War; including the My Lai massacre and the affects of Agent Orange.

Most of the exhibits are comprised of amazing, yet oft time heartbreaking photographs taken during the war. The first floor contained sections on the anti-war protests, rallies, and papers all created to get the US to leave the Vietnamese alone. The photos and stories came from around the world and many US military personnel themselves. The second floor focused on the My Lai massacre and the affects of Agent Orange, which are still being felt today, generations later. The third floor was dedicated to the courageous photo-journalists of the time; many of whom lost their own lives trying to bring to light the real cost of the war.

After visiting the museum, I felt ashamed to be an American. First coming from Cambodia and learning that my country supported the Khmer Rouge and the genocide committed there and then seeing that around the same time our soldiers were committing similar acts in Vietnam. All this because of a fear of Communism and someone high in the government willing to trade human lives for more power and money.

Wanting something a little more light hearted after the museum and before visiting the Cu Chi Tunnels in the afternoon, the three of us headed to Ben Thanh Market. This is the largest marketplace in the city and a big tourist attraction. Like many of the other central markets in this part of the world, most anything and everything can be found here. There are clothes, fresh fruits and meats, restaurants, electronics, and souvenirs galore. Just know that with the flocks of tourist that visit everyday, the locals here are a bit more aggressive with their selling and a lot more inflated with their prices. Bring your best haggling skills as the true cost of most items is about 50% of what you’re initially quoted.

We had a quick lunch of chicken pho in the center of the market, said goodbye to Sven (he had to go meet another friend) and headed out for our tour to see the Cu Chi Tunnels.

The Cu Chi Tunnels are an immense network of connecting tunnels located in the Cu Chi District of Ho Chi Minh City (but about an hour and a half drive outside the city center), and are part of a much larger network of tunnels that underlie much of the country. The Củ Chi tunnels were the location of several military campaigns during the Vietnam War, and were the Viet Cong’s base of operations for the Tet Offense in 1968.

The tunnels were used by Viet Cong soldiers as hiding spots during combat, as well as serving as communication and supply routes, hospitals, food and weapon caches, and living quarters for numerous North Vietnamese fighters. The tunnel systems were of great importance to the Viet Cong in their resistance to American forces during the war.

Of the 75 miles of tunnels preserved by the Vietnamese government, small swatches are now available for tourists to wander through. Additionally, dioramas of how some of the bigger underground rooms looked where created and our guide told us a bit about why the tunnels were so hard to find, how they were booby trapped, and what creative ways the Viet Cong used to keep themselves undetected and safe. 

The tour was once again a little heavy handed on showing the American as the perpetrators and our guide was constantly framing his speeches to put the Americans in the worse light ever. He was trying to imply that the Viet Cong living in the tunnels were hapless villagers just trying to stay safe and the Americans were war criminals, attempting to hunt them to extinction. I understand there are always two sides to a story and that in this war the Americans weren’t good people, but I think as a tour leader, you should try to be a little less biased in your dissemination of information.

A Morning on the Back of a Motorbike

To maximize what we could see and do on our last morning in Saigon, we booked a private sightseeing and foodie motorbike tour with the Saigon Motorbike Tours company. At 7am we met our guides/drivers, Steven and Andy, outside our hotel. We buckled our helmets and took off into the chaos of morning traffic for four hours of exploration. 

Sitting on the motorbike turned out to be pretty intuitive and before long we were like everyone else in the city; balanced properly so that we could ride without a death grip on the bike and immune to the fact that there were other motorbikes and cars weaving in and out of the crowds just inches away from us.

Since we left so early in the morning, we were also able to visit a few of the more touristy locations before the rest of the tourists woke up. It was just us and the locals and the peaceful morning. Our tour took us to visit the Central Post Office (designed by a guy named Alfred Foulhoux, but often times erroneously credited as being the work of Gustavo Eiffel, of Parisian fame), the Saigon Norte Dame Cathedral (across the street from the museum) ( the largest Catholic Church in the country and created completely from materials imported from France), past the Reunification Palace (we didn’t stop or go in) (this was the home of the Southern Vietnam president during the Vietnam War and the site of the end of the War with the Fall of Saigon on April 30th, 1975), to visit the flower market and the oldest apartment complex in the city (built by the Americans in 1968 and one of the most expensive places to live per size...about 70 square ft for $500 a month when the average apartment that size is normally $100/month; but people will pay for the location and status that comes from living there), to see the Jade Emperor Pagoda (a gorgeous Chinese inspired Taoist pagoda), and through Chinatown (which is so big that it encompasses three of the twenty-four districts in Ho Chi Minh City).

Along the route, Steven and Andy told us a little bit about the histories of the various places and we stopped in a few spots to grab local delicacies. We grabbed a chicken Banh Mi (they do exist) (traditional sandwich comprised of a baguette filled with meat, pickled carrots and radishes, peppers, sauce, and cilantro), some sticky rice and banana smothered in coconut milk sauce, drank coffee at the oldest coffee shop in the city (Cheoleo) (where we got a demonstration on how the coffee was made), and finished with a shrimp pancake (like a crepe but with a crunchy outside and filled with egg, bean sprouts, shrimp, and mung beans; all wrapped in lettuce, basil, and mint, and dipped in spicy fish sauce).

The motorbike tour was a great way to see a lot of the sites within the central part of Saigon, visit less touristy areas, and try traditional foods. Since it was a private tour, it was also customizable to a degree and our guides were aware of our dietary restrictions and thus able to find Sinick friendly variants of the local foods. 

At the end of the tour, we were able to convince Steven and Andy to give us a lift with our bags to the bus station to catch a bus to the airport. As we were driving there, we saw the giant yellow airport bus turn down the street in front of us. Em yelled to Steven, “chase that bus”, and so we did. Luckily, there was enough congestion on the road that we easily caught up, knocked on the door, and were let inside. It’s a good thing too, since we didn’t see the bus actually stop anywhere on the way to the airport so we may never have figured out how to hail it on our own from a bus stop on the street.

Shampoos and Floating Islands

In the last year, Vietnam has allowed certain nationalities to apply for e-visas online so that they no longer only have the options of entering the country via plane or having to mail their passports to an embassy months in advance and hope it doesn’t get lost in the post on its return trip. As a result, Em and I were able to take a bus on a nine hour jaunt from Phnom Penh to Ho Chi Minh City (formerly called Saigon). Our trek was slightly elongated due to having to wait for the Mekong Express bus (the alternative bus line to ours, Giant Ibis) be searched top to bottom at the border between Cambodia and Vietnam; after drugs were found on it. We arrived in HCMC around five and instantly fell in love with the vibe.

Ho Chi Minh City is the new name given to Saigon, the former capitol city of South Vietnam (Republic of Vietnam), back when the country was split in two. 

Our aunt and uncle have been to Vietnam many times and one of the things that they told us to try while we’re here is to go to a beauty shop and ask for a “shampoo”. This may sound pretty random, but I think now, after I tried this, I may not wash my own hair the entire time I am visiting this country. 

A shampoo in Vietnam is a 45-60 minute production where the stylist scratches, massages, and scrubs your scalp, all while making sure it’s sparkling clean. In addition, you get a mini facial massage and they’ll work a tad bit on the neck, shoulders, back, and arms. Each place charges differently and also changes the massage a bit, so you may have to shop around a few times to find the perfect “shampoo” for you. We walked into a small hole in the wall joint near our hotel and weren’t disappointed.

Having clean hair and clean clothes (our hotel offered a free washer and dryer to use), we set off for some nourishment. Walking through the small alleyways near our hotel, we happened upon a local restaurant filled with residents from the quarter and no tourists in sight. We didn’t really know what anything was, but we could see that it was a seafood restaurant. 

Em saw something delicious looking cooking on the grill and pointed at it and said “I want that.” The staff smiled and nodded their heads and we ended up with food that was not “that”, but still pretty tasty. We had a few types of grilled oysters or clams (they said it was squid, but it came in a shell so that was a dubious claim) and a coconut broth soup with snails. It was all pretty good, except the coconut broth was a little too sweet and got too rich after a while. The snails themselves didn’t really have any flavor and it was more a slimy texture thing.

People Make Trips, Not Itineraries 

One of the main attractions that Em and I had wanted to see around HCMC were the floating markets. What we didn’t realize was that you couldn’t get to them on a single day outing; you needed at least two days. So we booked a two day, super touristy, sheep tour and set out around 8am our first actual day in HCMC.

Our tour was a medium group (which meant 20 people) and lead by a super friendly girl named Ngoc (she told us to call her Ruby). Ruby was about 4 ft tall in her combat boots and spent the whole trip probably wondering how she got staddled with such a group as ours. By the time the bus left the first rest stop (two hours from the start), Em and I had made friends with Sven from Belgium, and Paul and Joe from England. Later in the day we added Douda from Tunisia to our group of rabble rousers and totally made poor Ruby work for her money as the group minder.

Most of the stops on the trip were to incredibly touristy places that gave you a taste of what life could be like in this part of the world, but had zero authenticity to them. While they were interesting and nice to see, it was the jokes and the camaraderie that developed in our little clique that made this trip amazing and not the selling heavy sites. Our group kept leaving the herd and wandering away in hopes of finding some adventure or the more real aspects to each place and poor Ruby would have to hunt us down and remind us that the bus or boat was leaving for the next location and that we needed to be on it.

The itinerary had us stop first for a short visit at a small Buddhist Wat, Vinh Trang Pagoda, where we had 20 minutes to photograph a giant standing Buddha, a giant smiling sitting Buddha, and a giant sleeping Buddha. Ruby’s introduction to the temple basically went: “...at Vinh Trang Pagoda you’re getting to see a giant sleeping Buddha. He looks like he’s sleeping, but he’s really dead.” Now how can you pass up a look around with an introduction like that?

About an hour drive further onward from the temple, we came to the rural district of Trang Luong. There we boarded a small motorboat in My Tho that took us around a few of the islands located on the Tien River. Our first island was called Tortoise Island (Qui) and is known for its coconut candy. We got a brief demonstration of how the candy is made, were allowed to try and then buy some (which we did), sample some snake liqueur (literally fermented within a jar containing dead snakes)(tastes like ethanol and is probably supposed to be a vodka variant), and meander for a bit. Sven, Em, and I realized that just beyond the coconut candy factory was an actual village and headed that way for a little real life experience. We made it about five minutes before getting tracked down and receiving the first of many exasperated looks for the day from Ruby.

Back on the boat and off we headed to our second island, I believe it was called Turtle Island (but could have been Dragon or Phoenix). Here we had a small lunch and then were left to explore this incredibly weird place. The island is used as a resort or day stop for cruise ships during parts of the year and as such it has these odd MXC type games set up all over the place. There are ropes to climb, an inflated pyramid in a small lake, obstacle courses, and a series of structures that look like a combination of abandoned amusement park and deranged, tetanus shot needing, nightmare inducing theatrical production set pieces. 

Sven, Em and I broke away from the group again and attempted to get to the top of the largest rusty structure, but while we could hop the small fence and climb around the missing stair platforms, the gaps of missing floor put a halt to our adventure half way up the tower. Realizing we were going to be late again, we started back. Somewhere around the crocodile pit (actual live crocodiles that you can order to eat at the restaurant) we took a wrong turn and ended up getting lost and then found again with a mild scolding by Ruby.

We left the land of forgotten toys and headed to our third and last island, Unicorn Island. This island is known for its bees and all the products that they make. We were were treated to a lessen on honey, bee pollen, and various other products for purchase while sipping some delicious kumquat, bee pollen, and honey tea. We extracted ourselves without purchasing souvenirs, got to walk through the “village” (aka souvenir shops) and were guided to another set of stools for fresh fruit, terrible tea (Douda started calling it massage tea because it tasted like massage oil in water....it’s probably coconut oil in water), and some beautiful Vietnamese traditional music (Đàn Ca Tài Tử - A folk art form from Southern Vietnam accredited by UNESCO in 2013 as Intangible Cultural Heritage of Humanity).

After the song, we boarded some wooden sampan (small traditional boats) that are rowed by local villagers down a small creek surrounded by coconut trees. This was one of the pictures in the brochure that made the trip look so appealing, but turned out to be a little depressing instead. The pictures shows happy tourists wearing the local style weaved conical hat, sitting in small wooden boats being gently rowed through trees on a small idiotic river. While the reality is that while that is all true, it also has a different side: the locals sell you the conical hats even as they’re considered an offense thing to wear, the “river” is about 6 feet wide and a foot deep and there are boats everywhere so that your boat is constantly being bumped into or pushed away from all the other boats (or gets stuck in the mud), the locals that row seem super depressed about their jobs, and you can’t see anything except muddy water. I really wanted to love this part of the trip, but I kept thinking I was visiting one of those Elephant parks where they abuse the elephants, except it was the rowers that were poorly treated.

Our small boat journey brought us back to the bigger motorboat, which in turn brought us back to the bus. We were supposed to go to visit a snake sanctuary, but they’re apparently in molting season so too aggressive for visiting. We were thus detoured to a bamboo QVC infomercial. They told us we were going to watch a documentary, but they gave us more massage tea and trapped us in a room with a woman that talks a mile a minute and told us about all the amazing benefits of products made from bamboo. It was hilariously, tortuously, bad and we walked out half through and enjoyed an overly sweet coffee in the heat with Paul and Joe while waiting for it to be over. A two and a half hour bus ride later and we arrived in Can Tho. 

Can Tho is the fourth largest city in Vietnam and known as the “western capitol”. It is noted for its floating markets, rice paper-making villages, and picturesque rural canals.

Being around seven at night when we arrived, we had the options of either sticking around the hotel or hopping back on the bus to be dropped in the center of town (about three miles from where we were staying). Douda, Sven, Em, and I decided to head to town for an adventure, while Paul and Joe decided to check out the pub scene around the hotel.

Douda and Sven turned out to have the same kind of travel adventure style as us and it was a fun evening of zero plans. We started by sampling some of the foods at the local night market. This city is known for enjoying a lot of parts of animals that Em and I are not fans of (liver, feet, spleen, stomach, etc..) so we didn’t sample as much as the boys. We got to try some octopus balls (puffy dough with octopus...get your minds out of the gutter), milk tea, bbq’d okra, and fried chicken skin. 

Having had some appetizers, we grabbed some beers and headed off wandering the random alleyways. We got lost and every time we saw locals drinking, Douda would shout random things that sounded like Vietnamese, but were gibberish. The locals would raise glasses, everyone would toast, smile, hug, and then we’d move on. We got invited by some very drunk karaoke singers to join a party of some sort that appeared to be winding down, but hugged, toasted, and moved on. We also joined a street soccer game for a hot minute, where Douda got schooled by an eight year old and Em thought she could play but really looked like a crazy woman screaming as she chased the children.

Eventually we popped out back at the Main Street and wandered in search of some more food. A veggie Bahn Mi and some gross sweet potato fries abated everyone’s hunger. A little more wandering and then we grabbed a Grab (local version of Uber) back to the hotel. We meet back up with Paul, Joe, and Ruby back at the hotel, shared a beer, and headed to bed.

Hawking Wares on the Water at the Floating Markets

Everyone was up early (if not bright eyed and bushy tailed) to head to the boat dock back in the center of Can Tho (next to where the night market we’d visited the night before was located). This was the start of a wonderful four hour tour of the Cai Rang Floating Market and surrounding areas along this portion of the Mekong Delta. 

The Cai Rang Floating Market is the largest of the floating markets in this area and the most colorful. The market really starts getting going around 4 am, but the tour companies like to let the foreigners sleep a little longer. Therefore Em and my attempts at persuading the whole group to leave at 4 am for the best photos and least tourists were shut down.

From around 4 am until 9 am, the river in this area becomes a busy commercial site where hundreds of boats packed with fruits, vegetables, plants and foods fill the river; ready for trading. Sellers will hang samples of what they are selling on the top of a long pole on their boats so that buyers can see from a distance what sellers are selling. Or in the case of tourist boats, they’ll dock beside you so that they can peddle their wares. 

After an hour or so, our boat left the market and headed down one of the other tributaries to visit a local fruit farm. At the farm, we got a chance to walk across and take an “Instagram” photo on a “Monkey Bridge”. This is a small bridge made from bamboo with one rod at the bottom for your feet to walk on and two rods at waist level to help steady you as you walk across.

Our boat adventure stopped in one other port of call. We visited a rice noodle making factory. I got to attempt to make one flat rice pancake thing while Em film me. She mainly was filming the woman yelling at me the whole time because I wasn’t doing anything properly.

At this little village we were able to break away from the group on last time and sneak away from the tourist attraction to visit the actual town’s morning market. Douda, Em, and I snagged a refreshing kumquat and sugar cane drink and we headed back to the group only 5 minutes behind schedule.

After the boat tour concluded, we all had a quick lunch back in Can Tho and then said goodbye to Paul and Joe. They had a date with a speed boat to Phnom Penh, while the rest of us had a five hour bus ride back to HCMC.