The Adventures of Christmas Pig

The Back Story

Ever known a co-worker that had one of those annoying items that they brought into work and played with all the time? A bouncy ball or a bobble head doll or a squishy animal that makes an obnoxious sound? Well, I have. For Christmas, my co-worker brought in a small stuffed pig that oinked out Merry Christmas when you squeezed its tummy. Being the Grinch that I am, you can all guess how well that went over.

Needless to say (without admitting to anything incriminating), one day the pig was no longer where it was supposed to be.

The Next Stage

After the disappearance of the Christmas Pig, I was the number one suspect. Just because someone makes a few comments about how the offending animal would be better off at the bottom of a river, tied to a rock, doesn't mean they had anything to do with it's subsequent disappearance.

So anyway, about a week later, an envelope arrives addressed to the missing Christmas Pig's owner. The envelope contains a CD and a note. The note states that you need to view the CD at 355nm to be able to read it. So the missing Pig owner pulls out the Alternate Light Source (if any of you ever watch CSI, it's the machine they use when they turn out the lights in a room and turn on the small wand with a blue light). The light reveals that the CD states that there is a photo on the CD related to the missing animal. The photo turns out to be a picture of the missing Pig in handcuffs, duct tape over it's eyes and mouth, and a note in it's hands that states, "Help Me!"

In an effort to locate the culprits, my co-worker proceeded to chemically process the envelope and the note for prints. He managed to find one, but no one's willing to supply him with their prints for comparison purposes. guess it's going to stay an unknown print for the time being.

The photo of the missing Pig now resides as a missing poster on my co-worker's desk.





Repeated threats and the addition of a stuffed reindeer that sang "Grandma got run over by a reindeer," which made an appearance for a brief stint (in an effort to annoy certain people into returning the Pig) all failed to bring the little piggy home. In fact the piggy was taken on a little road trip.

About threes weeks after the first photograph, another envelope arrived. This envelope contained two photographs. Both with images of the pig on the road somewhere other than Santa Barbara. I've added copies of them below.

Where we're at currently is that the pig is on the road and it doesn't look like it's coming home anytime soon.

A Side Note

Part of my job involves going to trainings that relate to my field or for programs that can help us be a more effective department. This past week, most of my department was sent to a local training related to crime scene sketching software. This software allows one to draw a crime scene (or pretty much anything thing else that you can dream up) complete with measurements and 3D icons.

As part of the course, we as students made various mock scenes (mostly related to traffic accidents). I took the liberty of embellishing these scene by adding in the Christmas Pig, the Pig's owner, and a few of the accused kidnappers. I've added these sketches for your enjoyment. I hope that they come out on this site and bring you as much laughter as they've brought to those of us in the know.



Seeing as you probably can't read or see this, it's as follows: The guy in the blue SUV is my co-worker...the one with the missing Pig, and he's saying, "hey you, come back here with my Pig!" The guy in the car that got hit by my co-work is saying, "What are you doing? Are you crazy man?" And the man with the Pig is in the crosswalk and he's saying, "Hurry up Pig! he sees us!"



The blue car skidding to a stop is saying, "What the...when did we get farm animal crossing here?" The man with the Pig (in the Pig crosswalk that I made) is drinking a Java Chip Frappaccino from Starbucks and saying, "Yum, this java chip frappaccino is good! Your owner has good taste Pig!" to which the Pig replies, "Oink!" And lastly you have my co-worker waiting to turn and saying, "That's just wrong. Not only did you steal my Pig, but now you've taken my drink as well!"



This is the murder scene. I took a screen shot of the 3D version so you could see what it looks like when it's not flat and 2D. The Pig is by the door and has a 9mm semi-automatic weapon. He's just shot the guy at the computer and he says, "I warned you not to eat that BLT with extra B!"




This is actually the first sketch that I did. Tim and Nancy are two of my co-workers and the ones that are being accused of stealing the Pig (along with a few others). The co-worker that lost the Pig is on a scooter and is saying, "Damn Pig rustlers, come back here with my Pig!" Tim, the guy in the blue and orange is saying, "Run Nancy....he's gaining ground!" and Nancy, the one in blue and black, is saying, "Damn, but he's quick on that Scooter!"

So folks, hope this satisfies your lust for an update...at least for a little while. I'll try to add an update on the Christmas Pig when I learn more.