The Wedding Edition

This post delves a little back into the past as that event sort of relates to an event from the last few days and neither my sister nor I remembered to post anything about it. So without further ado...

In the month since we've been traveling in the Middle East (can you believe its already been a month?), Em and I have been to two very different weddings:

Jewish Orthodox Wedding

Apparently it is acceptable for anyone and everyone to show up to a Jewish Orthodox wedding. They apparently welcome it and make extra food just for that fact. So Chaya, the house mother at the Heritage House that we were staying in while in Jerusalem, invited everyone from the hostel to attend. It started with one or two people and eventually there for quite a few of us planning on attending. Never one to turn down food (how well some of you know us), Em and I decided it might be nice to see what all the hoopla was about.

So at 7:00pm Em, myself, Abby and her brother, Max, set out by taxi looking for this wedding. We should have known that this was going to be an interesting night from the start when the taxi driver pulls up to another taxi (this is after we've entered his car) and ask directions to the place that we're supposed to be going to. He gets the "directions" and after some life-threatening driving we are deposited in an orthodox area of Jerusalem where there are hundreds (must have been at least 600 or 700) people dancing in the street and there is a little car with a mini kiosk type top playing the most god-awful music at top volume. Our first impression is that Jews really know how to throw a party. Our second thought is wait all those people dancing are male and hassidic and therefore were not supposed to touch them (being female and all), so how are we supposed to part the sea to get to the other side where the wedding is supposedly at? We ask a woman who is on the sidelines watching where exactly the hall that we're supposed to be going to is at and get the nice "dumb American" smile and the reply, "This is the area Bet Israel, but the Bet Israel Hall is not here. It's on the other side of town. Just take a taxi and it won't be more than ten minutes ride." Curious as to what we did end up in the middle of, we asked and found out that it was the Grand Opening celebration for a 10 million dollar Yeshiva. That would explain why there were only men dancing in the street.

So we head back down the street intent on finding another taxi and see two more of our hostel buddies being deposited in the same wrong area (apparently this Bet Israel Hall is not well known). So to save them from making the same mistake that we made we run toward them shouting, "Go back to the cab...Wrong location." I think they thought that we were crazy, but they went back and then we all piled in. The driver didn't like that there were six people in four spots and kick 4 of us out.

Eventually we made it to the right spot. There we were greeted by overly happy Neve students (the girl getting married was a Neve student) that were overjoyed that we could make it to the wedding and more than happy to answer any questions. The boys were taken to the other side cause in Orthodox weddings they separate the sexes (I think part of the reason is so that women can un-cover their hair and people on both sides can dance without having to worry about touching someone of the other sex).

Once inside we realize that we've missed the Chuppa (not sure about spelling there), the actually ceremony and now it's food time. The ceremony would have been nice, but the four of us are starving and more than happy to chow down. This is when we're told that the families of the two getting married are not wealthy and they are paying for food by the plate, therefore they can't feed us. So four chairs are set out to the side where we can watch everyone eat and see all the empty spots and food that's already prepared go to waste, but we can eat. As a consolation, we get to listen to the Neve girls tell us all about the traditions and the room where the bride and groom are touching for the very first time. We later found out that the boys were given dinner. So not fair.

After everyone had eaten people danced...and danced....and danced...and danced...and then they did things that made them look stupid because if you make newlyweds laugh it's considered a mitzvah (point in your favor when being judged by God upon death).

Around 9:00pm about 10 more Heritage House people showed up, have of them had been pulled along for the ride without knowing before hand that they were coming and therefore they were in jeans and t-shirts and had their musical instruments with them and so forth. It was entertaining to watch them come and integrated into the black and white attire of most everyone else (on the men's side). About this time hungry and boredom (sorry can only see so much dancing) were winning out and all 20 or so Heritage people made a mass exodus.

So what I can say about this wedding is that people were overly friendly; the room where the newlyweds first touch is the best thing for those that aren't married yet; the food that we couldn't eat was great; I learned to dance in a circle that had so many people in it I really couldn't go anywhere; people know how to make fools of themselves quite nicely; and it was very entertaining to watch (for a bit).

The Rich Man's Jordanian Wedding

From a working class wedding, please now follow me as we see the flip side of the coin:

After wondering for two weeks whether we were actually going to Faris's Wedding (Em's friend from college), he finally emailed us back with a phone number. This lead to more numbers and eventually an meeting day and time. The place ended up being the poor part of town (where Em and I had wondered unknowingly after visiting some ruins and couldn't find our way out of). In Jordan there are no real street addresses, people either know what you're talking about or they ask someone and that person knows. It makes it hard to find places or give directions. Luckily, the local grapevine was helpful and Faris and his brother, Mohammad, found us and whisked us away to more familiar territories.

I never knew this, and apparently neither did Em, but Faris and his family are rich. They live in a very large and very nice flat (apartment) and have two maids, a driver, and the attitude that they are better than everyone else. They treated us very nicely and made us part of their family at once, but we also befriended the maids (two girls our age from the Philippines) and saw the way that they think of others that they feel our beneath them. I tried not to let this color my perceptions of the family too much, but it enviably did.

Being from so far away, Mom and Pop decided that we had to stay at their house for the wedding cause it wasn't right to send us to a hotel and besides there was plenty of room (nevermind the other 15 people staying there). So a surprisingly comfortable bed was made for us in the little nook over the living-room and here we lived for the next three days.

The first night that we showed up was the "Night before the Wedding" party and this started around 10pm (everything starts late here). The party involved more dancing (of the belly-type persuasion and therefore you can all image how awfully Em and I were), tons of food, enough smoking to kill us all (they all smoke like chimmenys here...it's really gross), and tons of questions about who we are and were we're from and so forth. It was actually really nice and a good way for us to get used to the family and vice versa. The younger kids and cousins and such took the most liking to us (go figure) and the grandmas (who didn't speak any English but kept trying to feed us and then make us dance).

Thursday was the actually wedding. This didn't actually start until 6pm and therefore we spent the whole day hanging out with the family. There even took us to get our hair done up. I got mine blown-dried straight (just the way I like it) and Em went for this curl look that ended up making her look like a house wife from the seventies. By 5pm most of the curls were gone and it was a messy look that we tried to fix to no avail and she look like usual (crazy) but with some nice partial curls at the ends. :~)

The wedding itself started with a traditional band coming to play at Faris's home. The band was a group of singers dressed as beudoins that clapped and sand and banged a hand drum. This led to dancing naturally and there was also a photographer and videographer that were pushing people around trying to get the best shots. About and hour of this and the singing and dancing progressed down the stairs and outside where Faris got to drive in the rented Audi TT to his fiancie's house a few miles away. The other 60 people pile in another dozen or so cars and honking all the way follow. Quite a spectacle.

At Nor's house (the bridge) the process is repeated and then we all jumped back in the cars to drive all over town honking. At every red light (and I think they purposely tried to find them) many of the drivers from the following cars got out and danced around the Bride and Groom and I think pissed off local traffic.

The actual wedding party was at this incredibly nice hotel. More singing and dancing and then the 2 hour reception where the newlyweds disappeared, everyone drinks juice (it's a Muslim country so no alcohol), Em and I are wondering when the actually ceremony will be, contacts made with the Bride's family and invitations extended to show us around Jordan the next time we're here. The best part was that two of the little cousins (I think they were 10 and 8) who didn't speak any English really wanted to talk to us so the girl (who was older) would send the boy to find the aunt or whomever that spoke English and ask for a word or phrase. The boy would then run back, tell the girl, who then asked us. The problem is that they would have to find someone to tell them what we said too. It turned into a great game of charades and was very entertaining.

Finally dinner and the food was wonderfully and enough to feed the whole country. This was followed by dancing for many hours and more making fun of ourselves trying to imitate the locals (really not possible unless you are really limber).

We found out that the actually marriage (signing the papers and everything) had occurred two weeks previously. The wedding is really only the party and the vows are done privately beforehand. I thought that was pretty interesting.

So two weddings down and who knows how many to go. Of all the weddings I ever been to, I've never been to a traditional wedding (in any culture). They've all been altered in some way. Even these two. The Jewish wedding not a lot, but some. The Jordanian wedding had everyone together (like orthodox weddings the men and women are usually separated) and was not held over three nights.

So I hope you enjoyed my making a fool of myself for others. One other thing that I'd like to note for anyone that knows my sister, she was wearing a skirt. It was a hippie skirt with many different colors and patchworked together, but a skirt none-the-less and she actually enjoyed it. I even go the pictures for blackmail later on. Sorry I can't post it now.